My relationship with grief & its many complexities was relatively gentle until 2018, when I lost my sister, Etaf. Before then, loss felt somewhat understandable. Accepting my grandfather’s passing, after a long life, came more naturally.
But losing Etaf was—and still is—the deepest grief I have ever known. Even though my mind has accepted that she is finally free from illness, losing her at just seventeen remains something I cannot fully comprehend.
As heartbreaking losses continued within my family over the years, I grew used to keeping my grief private. If I ever spoke about it, it was only within the smallest of circles.
Then last year, after my grandmother passed away, a phrase quietly surfaced in my mind: “I’ll Meet You Where The Sun Blooms.”
It gave me peace, & the patience to wait for the day I will see those I’ve lost again.
Whenever grief feels especially heavy, these words return to me. They remind me of the brighter side of crossing from our physical life into the world of the spirit.
Although I often feel the gentle presence of many of the souls I’ve lost, I know our reunion will be freer, gentler, & more expansive.
Perhaps these words came to teach me a new way of expressing grief. Or perhaps they were permission to remain fully present in life, while carrying all this love & sorrow in my heart.
